Recently Caleb has taken to asking me this question, "Mummy, are you happy?" Actually he has been asking me this question at least once a day for the past 3 weeks. It all started when we were having a disciplinary session. I can't remember what it was that he did wrong but it was one of those days where I tell him to stop doing something and he purposely repeated the action just to test the boundaries. I had put on my stern voice and warned him that if he continued, he'll be going to the naughty corner. That was when he asked me in a very tiny voice, "Mummy, are you happy?" I was a little taken aback by his question but I was feeling frustrated with him so I told him No and I asked him whether he knew why I was not happy and he said "Because I never listen to you."
So ever since then, he has been asking me this question everyday. Well, actually for the past 3 weeks, Caleb seems to be going through this "test the boundaries" phase. He's been saying "I'm a big boy now and I can do it by myself." And then, he'll do lots of things that he knows he's not supposed to do and then I'll have to step in to discipline him. And each time he does something naughty and he sees the change in the tone of my voice or my facial expression, he'll ask me "Mummy, are you happy?" And he always asks in this tiny, weeny voice. Sometimes, he'll come and sayang my arm as he asks me. It makes it really hard for me to discipline him or I'll tend to soften my approach with him coz I start to worry that I'm giving him very negative vibes and I don't want him to think that I'm not happy with him all the time.
And I've been struggling to decide what kind of answer would be appropriate for me to give him.
Some days I tell him I'm not happy because he's not listening. Some days I think I should give him a more positive answer so instead of saying No, I tell him I'll be happier if he would listen and stop what he is doing.
Now for the last two days, even when he is not doing anything wrong, he'll just turn around and ask me out of the blue "Mummy, are you happy?" On occasions like this, I'll give him a big smile and say "Yes, I'm happy. "
Yesterday, when we were having lunch, again he popped the question and after I told him Yes, I'm happy, I decided to turn the tables around and asked him "Caleb, what about you? Are you happy?" and he said "Yes, I'm happy." So I asked him "Why are you happy Caleb?" And Mr PR said "Coz I'm with Mummy!"
Daddy, thinks that Caleb has got me twirled round his little finger. Especially nowadays when he's trying all the time to assert himself and test the boundaries. He'll do something naughty and then he'll start giving me all kinds of looks. Sometimes he'll give me cheeky smiles, and sometimes I'll get a cheeky reply. I may be amused by him at times but after he does it repeatedly, sometimes, it can get quite frustrating after a while.
These are moments when I think parenting is so difficult and I constantly have to pray for wisdom and patience to discipline him in love.
