Everywhere we go, whoever we meet, these are the 3 most asked questions... (potential parents, get the answers for these ready).
1. When is the delivery date?
2. Is it a boy or a girl?
3. Who is taking care of the baby after confinement?
For (1), well, after you see the gynae for the 1st time, (s)he'll be able to tell you when the due date's gonna be, give or take 2-3 weeks.
As for Caleb, he's gonna breathe air for the 1st time predicted on 15th May 2005.
For (2), you'll be surprised that some people actually come up to you when your wife is barely showing and asks if its gonna be a boy or a girl. Well, in fact, if I had been keeping track on what I was eating, what the temperature was during that 'fateful' nite, or even whether my work had been stressed or not, I might have been able to suggest a 50%-50% accuracy guess :) But the truth is, it is only after 4-5 months when the gynae will be able to tell if its a 0 or a 1 from the scans :)
For our case, obviously, Caleb was seen as clearly a 1.
For (3), something that really needs to be considered early... if you can. Discussions with in-laws, homework on helper charges, spouses' response to possibly quitting job all need to be gotten out of the way early so that you'll have at least some idea where the boundaries are. However for us, up till now, we still don't know yet. Nothhing that we are really worrying about, since Caleb is God's blessing to us, and He surely knows how He wants Caleb to be taken care of. So we're praying and watching, yet at the same time continuing to do our search to see which doors He is opening and How He is leading.
Will update on the blog once we know :)
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Friday, April 29, 2005
Parenting Seminar
Was at a Parenting Seminar late this afternoon, and must admit that though I had to close my eyes in order for my ears to concentrate on the monotonous presentation, it was a session that was enriching for the very fact that I could see that there are men who are very interested in the "study" or "field" of father parenting. There were men, young and old, some obviously with years of battle experience behind them and others like me, looking forward eagerly to the day when we too, will be called to fight the age old battle of "catch me if you can" or when they get older, "stop me if you can".
Another learning point I took out of the session was this wise quote by Mr So MeBo Dy, 'The world would be a different place if the decisions were taken by men who had been close to their children'.
Brings to mind the writer (can't remember his name too) who wrote 'Seven Seasons of a Man in the Mirror'. He wrote that many a times, men end up giving too much of their time to those who don't appreciate their time and give too little time to those who really need them.
So true, how we put priority to proposals, to customer meetings, to enhancement requests, only to find later that 'hey! why do I not understand my wife? why do my parents not understand me? what happened to the seemingly endless banter and jokes I had with my close friends? or whao, kids nowadays grow up really fast!'
In a very real sense, its the society that we grew up in, the age of the internet, everything is expected to be completed yesterday, everyone expects an answer before they have even asked the question, no longer are we able to say, 'Ok, give me sometime on that, will revert to you in 3 days time'. First we have to tell them ALL that we have on our plate, then get their approval for the delay. Not true though in some countries where it is an accepted norm to put family first, with right priorities. Or perhaps, sometimes, it is because we just don't have the courage to set our priorities right.
I have found that when I do state legitimate family 'excuses' like, 'I need to bring my wife to the gynae' or 'I have no time this weekend because I'm bringing my parents out', colleagues and customers are usually very understanding (with some exceptions of cos) and even seem to rethink about their own priorities.
So make a stand today! Give your time to those who really need you!
One last note on my relationship with my wife. I hope the last posts didn't put the idea that ours is a romantic Hollywood love relationship in you. Cos it certainly is not. We HAD to make the effort to understand each other, we HAD to make the effort to CHANGE for each other, we HAD to make the effort to KNOW and GIVE IN, not only to each other, but to our extended family as well.
We just reminded each other over dinner just now how hard the 1st three years were for us. (Examples to be given in later posts). But the gist of it is that we really HAD to put in the effort to make it work. If we had held on to Hollywood beliefs of 'You must love me for who I am!' or ' Love is an emotion... Sometimes I feel like I love you, sometimes I don't', then I'm sure this blog would have been called 'Diary of a Lonely Man' instead. Love is a choice for us, we chose to love each other, even though many a times the other party seem really really very unlovable. Love is a choice, not just a feeling.
1 John 4:19 'We love because He first loved us'.
Another learning point I took out of the session was this wise quote by Mr So MeBo Dy, 'The world would be a different place if the decisions were taken by men who had been close to their children'.
Brings to mind the writer (can't remember his name too) who wrote 'Seven Seasons of a Man in the Mirror'. He wrote that many a times, men end up giving too much of their time to those who don't appreciate their time and give too little time to those who really need them.
So true, how we put priority to proposals, to customer meetings, to enhancement requests, only to find later that 'hey! why do I not understand my wife? why do my parents not understand me? what happened to the seemingly endless banter and jokes I had with my close friends? or whao, kids nowadays grow up really fast!'
In a very real sense, its the society that we grew up in, the age of the internet, everything is expected to be completed yesterday, everyone expects an answer before they have even asked the question, no longer are we able to say, 'Ok, give me sometime on that, will revert to you in 3 days time'. First we have to tell them ALL that we have on our plate, then get their approval for the delay. Not true though in some countries where it is an accepted norm to put family first, with right priorities. Or perhaps, sometimes, it is because we just don't have the courage to set our priorities right.
I have found that when I do state legitimate family 'excuses' like, 'I need to bring my wife to the gynae' or 'I have no time this weekend because I'm bringing my parents out', colleagues and customers are usually very understanding (with some exceptions of cos) and even seem to rethink about their own priorities.
So make a stand today! Give your time to those who really need you!
One last note on my relationship with my wife. I hope the last posts didn't put the idea that ours is a romantic Hollywood love relationship in you. Cos it certainly is not. We HAD to make the effort to understand each other, we HAD to make the effort to CHANGE for each other, we HAD to make the effort to KNOW and GIVE IN, not only to each other, but to our extended family as well.
We just reminded each other over dinner just now how hard the 1st three years were for us. (Examples to be given in later posts). But the gist of it is that we really HAD to put in the effort to make it work. If we had held on to Hollywood beliefs of 'You must love me for who I am!' or ' Love is an emotion... Sometimes I feel like I love you, sometimes I don't', then I'm sure this blog would have been called 'Diary of a Lonely Man' instead. Love is a choice for us, we chose to love each other, even though many a times the other party seem really really very unlovable. Love is a choice, not just a feeling.
1 John 4:19 'We love because He first loved us'.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Back to Main Purpose
Ok ok, before this blog becomes a "Diary of a Abused Husband or Wife" blog, let's get back to the original intent of the blog :) But before that, a final word from the husband...
Let's just say I believe my wife and I have one of the most blessed marriages and we always have fun together, sometimes spontaneous, sometimes purposely created. We always laugh at each other jokes, or at each other, and we enjoy being about each other... doing fun things, mundane things, or even just "feeling each other's presence" (a term coined by wife when we simply have nothing to do in this small little island of ours and end up just spending time with each other, stoning together). In a very real sense, we are best friends. (I can almost see the squirms of many couples reading this mail, hehe... but its true, we are best friends!)
So back to the original objective of the blog, let's talk about the baby and being a parent, for my side, a daddy.
Radio 93.8 (yes yes, I'm an oldie who listens to boring news radio channel) asked callers to tell them about "The thing I like about my mother most is..." And that set me thinking... whao... there are lots of things I like about my mother. The very fact that she endured the 40 weeks carrying me, and me coming out at 7.7 pounds or 3.5kg is enough reason for me to be eternally grateful. But I think one of the things that I am really grateful or like my mum for is that she is not the kind of mother who does senseless, screaming, "chase you all over the house" kind of caning. That's not to say I've never been caned, far from it. She has always given me warnings, and when I still err, she'll let me know that I will be getting caned that very night.
So with ample warning, the young mind gets mentally prepared, and of cos, tries to do everything else right that day to hopefully lessen the corporal punishment (even at that young age we know how to watch the winds). Night comes and I will be made to stand in front of her in the room (not that I was a stupid kid who doesn't know how to run away, but I know that will only worsen things, at least my dad is not in the picture yet), and she'll proceed to explain what the 1st cane is for, and "whack!", one strip on my leg. She'll then go on to explain what the 2nd cane is for, and "whack!"... by the time she comes to the 3rd, usually she herself will be crying (seeing my pain) but still she carries on. After she is done, she will bring me to her and start to apply soothing lotion on my legs, albeit with tears in her eyes. So at that early young age, I learnt the difference between love and punishment, and how they could both coexist together.
Well, that is something that my wife and I have discussed before and believe that's how we'll disclipline boy boy as well, but I guess she'll do the caning, hehe, while I act as the Escalation Manager, like how my dad used to be. He has never caned us (my brother and I), but a shout from that booming voice was enough to cower us to obey, hehe... somehow it really had an effect. Maybe the early movies of authority in booming voices helped my dad's cause, Darth Vader comes to mind.
Let's hope we won't have to use the cane, but I wouldn't bet on it, as the bible says, 'He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Prov 13:24'. But we ARE praying for an obedient child :)
Let's just say I believe my wife and I have one of the most blessed marriages and we always have fun together, sometimes spontaneous, sometimes purposely created. We always laugh at each other jokes, or at each other, and we enjoy being about each other... doing fun things, mundane things, or even just "feeling each other's presence" (a term coined by wife when we simply have nothing to do in this small little island of ours and end up just spending time with each other, stoning together). In a very real sense, we are best friends. (I can almost see the squirms of many couples reading this mail, hehe... but its true, we are best friends!)
So back to the original objective of the blog, let's talk about the baby and being a parent, for my side, a daddy.
Radio 93.8 (yes yes, I'm an oldie who listens to boring news radio channel) asked callers to tell them about "The thing I like about my mother most is..." And that set me thinking... whao... there are lots of things I like about my mother. The very fact that she endured the 40 weeks carrying me, and me coming out at 7.7 pounds or 3.5kg is enough reason for me to be eternally grateful. But I think one of the things that I am really grateful or like my mum for is that she is not the kind of mother who does senseless, screaming, "chase you all over the house" kind of caning. That's not to say I've never been caned, far from it. She has always given me warnings, and when I still err, she'll let me know that I will be getting caned that very night.
So with ample warning, the young mind gets mentally prepared, and of cos, tries to do everything else right that day to hopefully lessen the corporal punishment (even at that young age we know how to watch the winds). Night comes and I will be made to stand in front of her in the room (not that I was a stupid kid who doesn't know how to run away, but I know that will only worsen things, at least my dad is not in the picture yet), and she'll proceed to explain what the 1st cane is for, and "whack!", one strip on my leg. She'll then go on to explain what the 2nd cane is for, and "whack!"... by the time she comes to the 3rd, usually she herself will be crying (seeing my pain) but still she carries on. After she is done, she will bring me to her and start to apply soothing lotion on my legs, albeit with tears in her eyes. So at that early young age, I learnt the difference between love and punishment, and how they could both coexist together.
Well, that is something that my wife and I have discussed before and believe that's how we'll disclipline boy boy as well, but I guess she'll do the caning, hehe, while I act as the Escalation Manager, like how my dad used to be. He has never caned us (my brother and I), but a shout from that booming voice was enough to cower us to obey, hehe... somehow it really had an effect. Maybe the early movies of authority in booming voices helped my dad's cause, Darth Vader comes to mind.
Let's hope we won't have to use the cane, but I wouldn't bet on it, as the bible says, 'He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Prov 13:24'. But we ARE praying for an obedient child :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
The New Mummy Breaks Her Silence!
OK, about the cow thing... hmm... I'm reminding my husband again.... I can't be a cow, coz if I'm one, then he must be Mr Cow. Anyway, he bugged me for 1 day before I relented to letting him post it on the blog. Mr Cow was sitting in front of his blog and going on and on about what an interesting title that would be and laughing to himself... I just couldn't spoil his fun ... and partly to get him off my back... so I relented.
And I want to comment, that his most recent post did not get vetted by me, which is why he thinks that we have been together for 7 years and not 8 Years!
I think he shouldn't write so much on the blog lest he gets "kok" on the head by me all the time.
I think the new Mummy has said enough.
And I want to comment, that his most recent post did not get vetted by me, which is why he thinks that we have been together for 7 years and not 8 Years!
I think he shouldn't write so much on the blog lest he gets "kok" on the head by me all the time.
I think the new Mummy has said enough.
Disclaimer!
Thank God for many concerned and close friends of my wife and I! And they have raised up, jokingly, their concerns of the "Cow" post :)
So I thought I better write a disclaimer as people come up to me saying, "Aiyoh! How could you call your wife a cow?!?!"... of cos they usually add a "haha" after that.
And that was the original intention of the post, to have it put in with a funny angle, a eye-catching caption.
And I must say that the last 3 posts are read by dear wife immediately after posting (the "cow" post was given permission by her first, prior to putting it up :)), and she helps me check my english and of cos the content. She has always been my best critic, and I do submit to her corrections. She has always been able to somehow capture the salient points of why I am not effective in certain situations and how I can do better. 9 out of 10 times after that, things got better. (The other 1 time is usually because I ended up not following her suggestions, hehe).
And I do thank God that He has given me a wife who is very understanding and can put up with my "nonsense" and my very comical nature. But that's not all, the fact that she can see the funny side of things the way I do helps a lot too :) And just in case you're thinking that I'm the domineering husband and she's the meek wife, wait till she's more free to blog... hehe. We give in to each other, and that's what keeps us happy... no real big fights in our 7 years together.
Kudos to God for putting us together!
(Hopefully this post will earn back some points from my wife, hahahahaha).
So I thought I better write a disclaimer as people come up to me saying, "Aiyoh! How could you call your wife a cow?!?!"... of cos they usually add a "haha" after that.
And that was the original intention of the post, to have it put in with a funny angle, a eye-catching caption.
And I must say that the last 3 posts are read by dear wife immediately after posting (the "cow" post was given permission by her first, prior to putting it up :)), and she helps me check my english and of cos the content. She has always been my best critic, and I do submit to her corrections. She has always been able to somehow capture the salient points of why I am not effective in certain situations and how I can do better. 9 out of 10 times after that, things got better. (The other 1 time is usually because I ended up not following her suggestions, hehe).
And I do thank God that He has given me a wife who is very understanding and can put up with my "nonsense" and my very comical nature. But that's not all, the fact that she can see the funny side of things the way I do helps a lot too :) And just in case you're thinking that I'm the domineering husband and she's the meek wife, wait till she's more free to blog... hehe. We give in to each other, and that's what keeps us happy... no real big fights in our 7 years together.
Kudos to God for putting us together!
(Hopefully this post will earn back some points from my wife, hahahahaha).
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Caleb is 2.8kg!
We saw boy boy again today! Baby Caleb is 2.8kg already! Gynae says weight of between 2.8kg and 3.2kg will be good for natural birth. Just nice... we are praying that it will be a natural birth, since we're gunning for 4 children, haha. You can see Caleb below with his fingers scratching his head on the right, must have been wondering what mummy was doing putting all the cold cream on him (gel for the ultrasound to work).
Gynae says Caleb is quite low already, but he is not expecting an early delivery, likely to be around or just slightly earlier than the DOD (Date of Delivery) which is 15 May. Well, if its 12 May, then its gonna fall on the same birthday as Mummy! Poor daddy will have to buy 2 presents at the same time and likely have a mega celebration each year, sigh.
Still, we can't wait for boy boy to come out, which brings a song to my mind... "Come baby come baby, baby come come!"
Btw, I realised as mummy has been gaining weight, daddy has been too (yes yes, for all of you who know me, you'll probably be saying "Don't bluff!" But yes, I've put on 2kg in the past 2 months!) Tummy still looks fine, so let's just hope it has gone to the muscles, which I'll definitely need to use when boy boy comes out!
Gynae says Caleb is quite low already, but he is not expecting an early delivery, likely to be around or just slightly earlier than the DOD (Date of Delivery) which is 15 May. Well, if its 12 May, then its gonna fall on the same birthday as Mummy! Poor daddy will have to buy 2 presents at the same time and likely have a mega celebration each year, sigh.
Still, we can't wait for boy boy to come out, which brings a song to my mind... "Come baby come baby, baby come come!"
Btw, I realised as mummy has been gaining weight, daddy has been too (yes yes, for all of you who know me, you'll probably be saying "Don't bluff!" But yes, I've put on 2kg in the past 2 months!) Tummy still looks fine, so let's just hope it has gone to the muscles, which I'll definitely need to use when boy boy comes out!
Monday, April 25, 2005
I think boy boy is learning kung fu
Boy boy has been training up on his 'shadow kicks', aiming no less than at the rib cage nearest to his legs. Even daddy can feel his knees as he winds up for the kick :) Wonderful feeling, I really feel the joy of being able to just interact with him, though mummy is certainly less amused.
God must certainly feel joy when we interact with him as well, even through normal activities like 'leg strectching', or teeth brushing or bible reading, just us doing the normal functions he made us to do. All the more if we do it for Him! If boy boy were to kick when I ask him to, I'm sure I'll really get a kick out of it, though certainly I'll get a real kick from the mummy... if she can manage it, that is, hehe.
God must certainly feel joy when we interact with him as well, even through normal activities like 'leg strectching', or teeth brushing or bible reading, just us doing the normal functions he made us to do. All the more if we do it for Him! If boy boy were to kick when I ask him to, I'm sure I'll really get a kick out of it, though certainly I'll get a real kick from the mummy... if she can manage it, that is, hehe.
It's Official! My wife is a cow!
Hehe, wife has been reading this book about breastfeeding, something about squeezing a bit of milk out even before the baby comes just to make sure the passage is not blocked, and this she did last night... hey presto! Milk indeed! In case you're thinking free flowing, streaming milk... its not. Just a little bit oozing out. Ok, nothing too gross on the blog. All I can say is that the daddy-to-be got to taste a bit of it... hehe... We're now fully assured that Caleb will have the best food available to him when he comes :)
And oh yah... for all you B&S (Beatus & Shalom, a youth group... just in case pple reading think I'm calling them 'Be An Ass' :)) pple out there, dun come to wifee and call her a cow, I can assure you that she'll 'kok' you on your head if you do that! And then of cos, she'll turn to me and 'kok' me on my head too! Which of cos means you'll get another 'kok' from me!
And oh yah... for all you B&S (Beatus & Shalom, a youth group... just in case pple reading think I'm calling them 'Be An Ass' :)) pple out there, dun come to wifee and call her a cow, I can assure you that she'll 'kok' you on your head if you do that! And then of cos, she'll turn to me and 'kok' me on my head too! Which of cos means you'll get another 'kok' from me!
Realisation of Impending Reality
You come to the realisation of the impending reality when your wife wakes you up at 2am and asks you if you remember whether the feelings of contractions start from the front or from the back! Suddenly, it strucks you... "Oh! Now?!?!?!"
Somehow, its a totally different feeling seeing your wife grow from a slim, sexy lady to one "designed for the best of, not the mummy, not the daddy, but the baby", than suddenly realising that you are now under the "tyranny" of one who says, "Ready or not, I'm coming out!".
So, half sleepy, half panicky, I scanned my brain archives (at half the normal speed) of the antenatal classes that we went through together... mother/baby nutrition... relaxing exercises... breathing techniques... stages of delivery... feelings of contractions start from the back... turned out that wifee had a slight stomach upset.
In any case, this episode happended last night, and that, prompted the start of this blog. Maybe one day, boy boy can read about what mummy and daddy went through while he's enjoying the bliss of the amniotic fluid and later, the pamper of parents or more likely, grandparents.
Having said all these though, I am really quite excited and eager to find out how boy boy (Caleb), is gonna look like. Better look like her than like me, hehe... Hmmm, wonder if that's how God felt before He created the world, Adam and Eve? So far, its only been black and white ultrasound scans, 2 eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears, 1 mouth, 4 limbs... and I must say, active limbs, tectonic plates movement, almost as if its belly dancing, just moving all by itself in all directions.
Well, we shall see how boy boy really looks like soon, its 37th week, standby duty starts this week.
Somehow, its a totally different feeling seeing your wife grow from a slim, sexy lady to one "designed for the best of, not the mummy, not the daddy, but the baby", than suddenly realising that you are now under the "tyranny" of one who says, "Ready or not, I'm coming out!".
So, half sleepy, half panicky, I scanned my brain archives (at half the normal speed) of the antenatal classes that we went through together... mother/baby nutrition... relaxing exercises... breathing techniques... stages of delivery... feelings of contractions start from the back... turned out that wifee had a slight stomach upset.
In any case, this episode happended last night, and that, prompted the start of this blog. Maybe one day, boy boy can read about what mummy and daddy went through while he's enjoying the bliss of the amniotic fluid and later, the pamper of parents or more likely, grandparents.
Having said all these though, I am really quite excited and eager to find out how boy boy (Caleb), is gonna look like. Better look like her than like me, hehe... Hmmm, wonder if that's how God felt before He created the world, Adam and Eve? So far, its only been black and white ultrasound scans, 2 eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears, 1 mouth, 4 limbs... and I must say, active limbs, tectonic plates movement, almost as if its belly dancing, just moving all by itself in all directions.
Well, we shall see how boy boy really looks like soon, its 37th week, standby duty starts this week.
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